Fear

I think God is trying to teach me some things about fear.  About where fear comes from and the truth about fear. 

In church this morning our pastor talked about fear.  He talked about times of crisis in our life and how times of crisis can bring us closer to God.

I like the world around me to be in perfect peace.  I want everyone to get along.  I want everyone to feel loved and to love others.

I have been struggling with some situations in my life that keep me from feeling that peace in my heart.  Words can hurt.  As much as I want to be super-human and pretend that nothing bothers me, nothing can get me down, and nothing can shake me, the truth is I am human and sometimes I hurt.

Fear comes when a situation is out of my control.  I can't change other people.  I can't make them love me or make them see things God's way.  God has brought quite a few situations to my life right now that are requiring me to trust God to bring me the peace I need.  I have been struggling with this b/c I want all things to be in harmony with each other. 

I have been hurt by the words and attitudes of others.  My first reaction (in my heart) is to be upset, to think of all the things I want to say to defend myself, and to make the other person see how they have hurt me and others with their words.  I want justice. 

Then, through a sermon, scripture or even a friend,  God gently reminds me of His truth and His desire to use all of these situations to bring me closer to Him, to develop the ability to love others when they don't show love to me, and to give the situation over to Him without requiring an apology or anything else on the other persons part.

Luke 6:32 says "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them."  Isn't that the truth!  God is providing me with opportunities to love those that are doing wrong by me.  He wants me to show them love by forgiving them.  He wants to show them His love by having me respond to hurtful words with kindness.  It is so much easier said than done!!  God is really stretching me right now.  Loving people that love you does not require God.  Loving people that are unkind to you most definitely requires God.  This is where my faith is tested.  Who do I love?  With whom do I put my trust?  Who is my defender?  If the answer is God (which it is) then I need to rely on Him to help me do what's right, good, and just.

Luke 6:27 “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you."  I am realizing that it's still not enough to just love my enemies (or those that may hurt me) but God also says to pray for them and to bless them.  On top of that He says to do all of this expecting nothing in return.

This is where I fail.  I start to think that if I do what is right and I "turn the other cheek" or give a blessing etc.. that this will surely prompt the other person to respond in kindness, to see their wrong doing, and to desire reconciliation.  God is teaching me that He is requiring me to do my part and that's the end of the story.  I am not to do things in order to receive a certain outcome from the other person.  I am to act rightly expecting nothing in return.  Wow!!  This really goes against what the world teaches us.  The truth is when I start to live into this I start to feel peace that passes all understanding.  I start to feel free instead of weighed down.  When I act in love expecting nothing in return I end up feeling loved all the more.  God is so cool like that :)  His word is true and I can depend on it.  It feels good to let things go, to not react based on someones actions but on truth alone.  It's freeing!!!

 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline"  The truth is that fear does not come from God.  I don't want to live in fear.  Fear of what others think of me, fear of how others may hurt me, fear of standing up for what is right, fear of acting in love and being rejected.  I don't want fear to rule my decisions, my actions, and my life.  I want the power of God to rule in my heart and I want the love of God to be what controls my decisions, my actions, and my life.  He gives us the power to love :)

So now I need to turn truth into action.  I am going to try really hard (with God leading me) to love those that are hard to love, to pray for those that oppose me, to do good to everyone, and to let God's truth lead me.  I am not going to let fear lead me but only the power of the spirit inside me.

Thank you God for loving me enough to give me opportunities to grow into the woman you want me to be.  Please help me to see trials as opportunities for my heart to be transformed and molded into your likeness.

I love you!!!