Happy Valentines Day Brian - I love you!!!

I wanted to write a post and publicly declare my love for Brian Joseph Wheeler :)

Thank you for making me feel loved.  Not just today but everyday. 

There was a time when I wondered if I would ever feel love again.  I loved God, my family, and my kids.  I just wasn't sure if I would ever be in love again. 

Did I tell you that God is the ultimate match maker?  I knew I wasn't one to join a dating site or even look for love for that matter.  I had two kids to love and to love me back.  I also had a beautiful relationship with the one that created me.  God was (and still is) number one in my heart.

He (God) knew of a guy that loved Him too.  A guy that happened to have a story similar to mine.  A guy that happened to have four cute boys and a wonderful passion for life.  A guy that loved others more than himself.  A guy that I would soon meet but never saw coming :)

It all started at a bible study.  Go back to our very first post to read the story :)  Anyway, I was told about a bible study at Kingsway, I decided to go, A very sweet guy was teaching the class, He caught my attention because of His love for God, I caught his attention for the same reason, We ended up becoming friends. . . . .the rest is history.  A million things had to happen to make us find each other.  Nothing is impossible with God - nothing!!!

Now I am crazy in love.  I smile all the time.  I laugh everyday.  I am married to prince charming.  I have six kiddos that I love dearly.  I am happy.  I am loved.  I am in love.  I have a crush on my husband - A serious crush!!

You never know what life will bring.  One Valentine's day you are sitting alone eating pink pancakes with your kids.  You never imagine at that time that you will meet a wonderful guy and be swept off your feet.  You don't realize that your life will be richer than you ever imagined or that you will have someone to share your life with that makes your heart skip a beat (every single day!).  You have no idea that God loves you so much that he will hand pick the perfect person for you and completely turn your life around.

God is so good.  He loves us all.  He loves the least, the lost, and the lonely.  When you feel alone He is there to bring you comfort and to dry your tears.  He will never leave you or forsake you.  He loves us in our imperfections.  He loves us even when it seems that no one else does.  God is Love :)

Happy Valentines Day!!!

It has been a while since I have posted anything here.  Mainly because our life is full and I just haven't taken the time to sit down and blog for a while.

It has been a little over a year now that I have been married to the most amazing guy in the world :)  In one year we have made beautiful strides in our life together.  The kids have gelled so well.  It feels like we have been a part of each others life for a very long time.  I barely remember the days when it was just me and Hannah and Hudson.  It seems like a lifetime ago.

This year has been fun, challenging, crazy, beautiful, and busy!!  Raising six kids in a broken world can be challenging.  Our kids know first hand what brokenness feels like.  They also know what it looks like for God to take the broken pieces and make them into a beautiful new creation.  Living in two worlds can be difficult for them (and for us) but it gives us opportunities to teach them how to make good choices no matter where they are and to "put on" love in all circumstances.  They are discovering that a home isn't made up of walls and decorations but it's made up of people that love them.  We know it's not always easy for the kids to go back and forth and to have to adjust to different environments.  To be honest, it isn't easy for us either.  There are plenty of times that I have dropped them off and they have begged to stay (not because they don't love their other homes) but because the transition is hard at times.  I keep it together until we pull away and then I lose it :(   Saying goodbye to your kids every week can tug at your heart strings.

With that said, God has done amazing things through the power of LOVE this year.  Our relationships with our ex-spouses have been positive and encouraging.  I can still be selfish at times and even insecure.  Sometimes I want my way or I get tempted to dwell on the past.  Praise God that these feelings have diminished because of love.  God has put on my heart (and Brians) to show love in all circumstances and to put aside our selfish nature in order to fight this battle not with anger, bitterness, and hatred but with love, grace, and compassion.  I can honestly say that I love our exes and look forward to building on what God has already accomplished this year in our hearts and theirs. 

Here is a picture of what God has done through love this year.  Jessica has welcomed Hannah and Hudson into her heart.  She has invited them to go swimming, to play at her house with the boys, and to show them affection when we are together.  Kenneth and Angela have invited Jessica and the boys to go bowling and other activities this year.  Yes, it's true!!  Our ex-spouses are building relationship as well which is showing our kids so much love.  It's no longer two separate worlds but our worlds are starting to collide in a wonderful way.  Last week after Hannah's basketball game we stayed late and Brian, Kenneth, Tristan (Angela's son), Hannah and Hudson played basketball together while Angela and I sat and had girl talk.  I can see myself having a wonderful friendship with both Angela and Jessica in the future.  God is so good!!!

Of course, I have also learned a great deal about LOVE through the most loving man I know.  Brian has such a loving heart.  He seriously makes me feel so loved and cherished everyday.  He has shown me that love is a choice.  He is always positive.  He takes care of me.  He makes me feel like everything will be ok (no matter what) and he knows just how to cheer me up when I am feeling out of sorts.  I can be cranky, selfish, and even rude at times when I am having a bad day.  Instead of avoiding me and telling me I am being selfish he puts on love instead.  He will put everything aside just to make my day better.  I don't deserve him.  I truly don't!!  I thank God daily for bringing him into my life and for giving me someone that makes me feel cherished and loved every day.  If the saying is true "You become like those you spend the most time with" I am one blessed girl!!

Can I tell you another beautiful thing?  I am so proud of all six of my children.  I seriously love telling people that I have six kids.  They can drive me crazy at times and the noise level can be outright insane but I am so incredibly blessed.  They are so different and unique.  They keep me on my toes both physically and spiritually.  We have a big job :)  Raising six kids to love others more than themselves, teaching our boys how to stand up for what is right and to be boys of God rather than of the world.  Teaching our girl about purity and what God's design for love looks like.  How to dismiss the unkind words girls can say to you when you are only in third grade and how to find your self worth in God and Him alone.  I know raising our kids is the most important job God has entrusted us with.  They are the future :)

Oh there is so much I could tell you about this past year.  About our businesses, our new house, our church etc... God has done so much and I want to tell you about all of it!!!  I guess I will have to blog more often :)

Love you,

Loree

Happy 4th Birthday Leo :)

Leo,

It's hard to believe I met you when you were only two years old.  Of course you weren't the typical two year old.  You were talking in full sentences, keeping up with your older brothers, and sharp as a tack :) 

You have grown so much in just one year.  You started preschool this year.  All of the kids in your class love you.  When I bring you in the door everyone yells "Leo is here!!!!"  It always makes you smile.  You have your own backpack and lunch box like your brothers and sister.  You can write your name now and you are learning your letters.

We ditched your tricycle for a real bike this year.  You are still riding with training wheels but you are able to ride to the park with us and keep up instead of riding in the bike trailer.

Your best friend is your brother Hudson.  You guys are two peas in a pod.  Hudson is slightly frustrated that you are in the same size clothes as him and that you are wearing a size bigger than him in shoes :)  He reminds you often that he is still taller than you (but that won't last long).   The two of you love to play legos, jump on the trampoline, play games, and wrestle.  Hudson is usually in tears when the two of you have to leave each other.  It makes my heart happy to see the two of you together.

Lets see . . . . your favorite food is pizza.  You also love chocolate ice-cream, milkshakes, and pasta :)  You love to build things with blocks and you are amazing at putting puzzles together.

I think you have to be the smartest four year old on the planet.  You say that funniest, most intelligent things for your age.  Daddy and I always get a laugh out of the big words and ideas that come out of your mouth.

For your birthday we went to the Abe Martin Lodge in Brown County.  You rode a pony, hiked the trails, and swam at the water park.  We had a family party at our house as well.  MeMe got you a 10ft puzzle, Great Grandpa Jack gave you money, Auntie Anna and Uncle Jerry gave you money and candy, Papaw and Pamaw got you Lincoln Logs and books, and Mommy and Daddy got you a leap frog computer and moon dough :)  You also got several gifts in the mail.  MeMe and Dah sent you money and so did Grandpa/Grandma Ziegler.  You had a great birthday.  Oh yeah, Hudson wrapped up a book of his (your favorite) and gave it to you for your birthday :)

I love you so much and I am so happy to have you as my son.  I look forward to watching you grow and seeing God's plan for your life unfold.  You love bible stories, singing, and talking about God.  I am so proud of you.

Happy Birthday Leo!!!  Love, Mom

Fear

I think God is trying to teach me some things about fear.  About where fear comes from and the truth about fear. 

In church this morning our pastor talked about fear.  He talked about times of crisis in our life and how times of crisis can bring us closer to God.

I like the world around me to be in perfect peace.  I want everyone to get along.  I want everyone to feel loved and to love others.

I have been struggling with some situations in my life that keep me from feeling that peace in my heart.  Words can hurt.  As much as I want to be super-human and pretend that nothing bothers me, nothing can get me down, and nothing can shake me, the truth is I am human and sometimes I hurt.

Fear comes when a situation is out of my control.  I can't change other people.  I can't make them love me or make them see things God's way.  God has brought quite a few situations to my life right now that are requiring me to trust God to bring me the peace I need.  I have been struggling with this b/c I want all things to be in harmony with each other. 

I have been hurt by the words and attitudes of others.  My first reaction (in my heart) is to be upset, to think of all the things I want to say to defend myself, and to make the other person see how they have hurt me and others with their words.  I want justice. 

Then, through a sermon, scripture or even a friend,  God gently reminds me of His truth and His desire to use all of these situations to bring me closer to Him, to develop the ability to love others when they don't show love to me, and to give the situation over to Him without requiring an apology or anything else on the other persons part.

Luke 6:32 says "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them."  Isn't that the truth!  God is providing me with opportunities to love those that are doing wrong by me.  He wants me to show them love by forgiving them.  He wants to show them His love by having me respond to hurtful words with kindness.  It is so much easier said than done!!  God is really stretching me right now.  Loving people that love you does not require God.  Loving people that are unkind to you most definitely requires God.  This is where my faith is tested.  Who do I love?  With whom do I put my trust?  Who is my defender?  If the answer is God (which it is) then I need to rely on Him to help me do what's right, good, and just.

Luke 6:27 “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you."  I am realizing that it's still not enough to just love my enemies (or those that may hurt me) but God also says to pray for them and to bless them.  On top of that He says to do all of this expecting nothing in return.

This is where I fail.  I start to think that if I do what is right and I "turn the other cheek" or give a blessing etc.. that this will surely prompt the other person to respond in kindness, to see their wrong doing, and to desire reconciliation.  God is teaching me that He is requiring me to do my part and that's the end of the story.  I am not to do things in order to receive a certain outcome from the other person.  I am to act rightly expecting nothing in return.  Wow!!  This really goes against what the world teaches us.  The truth is when I start to live into this I start to feel peace that passes all understanding.  I start to feel free instead of weighed down.  When I act in love expecting nothing in return I end up feeling loved all the more.  God is so cool like that :)  His word is true and I can depend on it.  It feels good to let things go, to not react based on someones actions but on truth alone.  It's freeing!!!

 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline"  The truth is that fear does not come from God.  I don't want to live in fear.  Fear of what others think of me, fear of how others may hurt me, fear of standing up for what is right, fear of acting in love and being rejected.  I don't want fear to rule my decisions, my actions, and my life.  I want the power of God to rule in my heart and I want the love of God to be what controls my decisions, my actions, and my life.  He gives us the power to love :)

So now I need to turn truth into action.  I am going to try really hard (with God leading me) to love those that are hard to love, to pray for those that oppose me, to do good to everyone, and to let God's truth lead me.  I am not going to let fear lead me but only the power of the spirit inside me.

Thank you God for loving me enough to give me opportunities to grow into the woman you want me to be.  Please help me to see trials as opportunities for my heart to be transformed and molded into your likeness.

I love you!!!

Happy Birthday Brian (A.K.A. Super husband!!!)

Brian,

Happy Birthday to the love of my life.  I have a million thoughts running through my head right now.  They all have to do with how much I love you, how I think you are amazing, and how much richer my life has been with you in it.

You are my best friend.  You "get" me :)  We finish each others thoughts, sentences, songs, and jokes.  We should live really long lives because we laugh every day.  If I could spend time with anyone on the planet it would be you.  You make me feel special, loved, and beautiful.  I am your princess and you are my prince :) Sometimes I really do feel like I am living a fairy tale. 

Every morning I wake up to you telling me I am beautiful and that you adore me.  You take care of me and treat me like a queen.  You do most of the cooking (because you want to).  You love to clean the house when I go out just so you can surprise me and help me out.  When you go to the grocery you often bring me flowers just to be sweet.  You watch the kids (all six of them) and tell me to go have fun with my girlfriends and family.  I don't think I have ever seen you stressed out.  I never hear you complain and you see the best in everyone. 

I think you are the smartest guy in the world.  You don't even watch t.v. but you seem to know everything that is going on in the world.  Most of the time I have no idea what you are talking about when it comes to money, politics and world affairs.  Just this morning you explained the value of gold to me (how money used to be backed by gold etc..) When you talk to others I am always thinking in my head "That's my husband, the smartest guy on the planet" :)  You have started a business from the ground up and have invited others to join this venture of yours.  You want others to have the ability to spend more time with their kids and families like you do. You work hard.  I don't know how you balance it all but somehow you make me and the kids feel like we are the most important people in your life and yet still run a successful and growing business. 

Ok. . . this section is definitely going to bring me to tears.  It's about the dad that you are.  I have never met anyone that connects with their kids the way you do.  The kids have the day off school tomorrow and you are already thinking of how you can make the day special.  You told me that you wanted to hang a sign on the door so that when they come home tomorrow they will read "Come find daddy and then enjoy a day of games with daddy".  You will have each kid find you (while you hide for each one) and then spend the day playing games with them.  You planned your work week around this!!!  From the moment you met my kids you treated them like your own.  Hannah holds your heart as your only daughter.  No matter how feisty she is you love her all the more.  Every night she asks you to come in her room and sit on her bed so she can have a "daddy-daughter" talk with you.  You two talk about everything under the sun.  In a few weeks you are taking her to a daddy-daughter retreat at Springhill Christian Camp.  You are sooo excited about this.  It makes my heart happy.  She is crazy about you.  Hudson was afraid to let his guard down and let another person in his life.  You take the time to play one on one with him, you tell him how proud you are of him, and you treat him just like the other boys.  You talk about life with all of the kids.  You spend time teaching them and connecting with them.  You play games with them, tell them stories, make music videos with them :), and tuck each one of them in and pray over each one of them every night.  Basically, you rock the socks off the daddy role :)  When your life fell apart you were the glue that held your boys together.  You reminded them of God's unfailing love and of your love for them.  You put your life and business on hold in order to keep their life going.  You taught them that love has no boundaries.  You taught them about forgiveness, love, and hope.  Oh how I love you!!!

Everything in life is better with you in it.  I am so blessed to call you my husband and best friend.  I am madly in love with the smartest, best looking, funniest, sweetest, kindest, and most genuine man on the planet :)  Your love for God and for others has greatly impacted my life.  I will never be the same.

Happy Birthday Handsome :)  I love you!!!!   

Happy Birthday Luke!!!

Dear Luke,

You are turning 8 today!!  This is the second birthday we have celebrated together :) 

You are silly, a little bit of a dare-devil, and super smart!!!  Daddy and I say you are the one that kind of falls under the radar a bit.  You typically just go with the flow.  Your brother, Hudson, is crazy about you.  The two of you spend hours playing legos, dart guns, and ninja's. 

Your favorite color is yellow.  You love to climb on things (anything!!).  I am often telling you not to climb up the outside of the stairs or to stop jumping on the furniture - lol.  Your a little monkey :)

We were excited to hear from your teacher that you are very, very smart.  She has no doubt that you will be in the high ability class next year.  It's funny b/c you don't talk about school much or do any school work at home.  We had no idea that you were off the charts in smarts!!  Your daddy and I are very proud of you.

You share a room with your two younger brothers (Hudson and Leo).  You never want to sleep on the top bunk b/c you prefer to sleep with one of your brothers every night :)  You also sleep with your pillow pet and dog :)

I think you are a sweetie.  At bedtime you often thank God for bringing your dad and I together.  Every night you want big hugs and kisses.  You will not go to sleep without them :)  You tell me often that you love me.  It really makes my day.

You are playing tackle football this year.  You are on the line!!!  We aren't sure why b/c you have daddy's build (long and lean).  You are tough but we think you might be better as a running back :)  You are a little taller than your older sister Hannah and weigh a little more as well.  The two of you are only six months apart in age.  She really loves hanging out with you!!  She even wrapped a present for you and made you a sweet card for your birthday (she did this all on her own).

For your birthday we had a family party at Frost Bite.  MeMe and Kevin, Papaw and Pamaw, Auntie Anna and Jerry, and Me and daddy were all there.  You got some nerf guns, a disk gun, money, a cool bank, and some other fun stuff.  The morning of your birthday I bought donuts for everyone and put a candle in yours :)  You got a kick out it.  On Friday we had a party along with your mom Jess at Chuckie Cheese.  You invited your class and your football team.  There were around 20 kids at the party.  You had a blast!!! 

I love you so much and I am so blessed to call you my son :)  Happy 8th Birthday Luke!!!

Love, 

Mom

Blended

For some reason the term "blended family" came to my mind this morning.  I started thinking about what the term "blended" means.  The definition of blended is this:  To combine or mix so that the constituent parts are indistinguishable from one another.  Hmmm, very interesting and very cool. 

As I look around and see families that are supposed to be "blended" I realized that I see more families that are sitting in the blender with all of their separate ingredients than ones that are truly blended.  Maybe they are afraid that being "blended" will hurt.  It would mean giving up some of your own identity.  It would mean accepting all the other ingredients.  You can't blend some parts and leave others out.  It's all or nothing. 

Seems funny but I started to imagine putting all sorts of fruit in a blender along with lots of ice.  Each ingredient is visible and separate before you blend it.  Each ingredient is good on its own but it's so much better when you blend them together to make a smoothie :)  I then thought about the sound the blender makes when it crushes the ice and blends the fruit.  It makes a loud sound as it crushes everything.  The parts are being crushed and smoothed out.  In the end you have a delicious drink and you can't tell which part is a strawberry or which part is a blueberry.  They are one.

A blended family should be this way.  You all come into it with different life stories.  You bring your hurts, your passions, your joys, your everything :) with you.  At first it is obvious which kids are are yours and which ones are his.  In the beginning you realize that you have one set of rules and he has another.  You may realize that your kids sleep with blankies, prefer the light on, and want to sleep in the same bed as their parent (Ha ha - I am sure you could guess who's kids these were) while his kids sleep without blankies, don't want the lights on, and love to have the door shut :)  At first it was hard to be affectionate with someone else's kids.  I loved them but I hadn't raised them.  In the beginning we were all separate parts to one equation. 

In time we started to blend.  The actual blending process can hurt a bit (think about the blender).  It looks messy at times and it can even be painful.  You may even feel crushed at times.  When it's over you realize you have become something beautiful.  One day you realize that no one can tell which kids are yours or which kids are his.  People start to tell you that your son looks like you (and you grin on the inside) or that your daughter looks just like her daddy (He grins from ear to ear on the outside and inside- lol).  Pretty soon you turn the lights out and realize that all the kids are sleeping without blankies, with the lights out and doors shut :)  Kids are in their own beds and they like it (and so do you).

A few months after that you realize that you are giving out hugs like water and that you are starting to love all the kids the same.  You get offended when people ask which kids are yours and which ones are his.  There are no his and hers.  They are "ours".

One day you smile inside because people start seeing you as a family of eight and they have no idea that you haven't always been this way.  All they see is a "blended" family.  They don't see the differences.  They see one unit.  The parts look the same.  You remember what it took to get here and you realize it was all worth it.  You start to forget what your life of three used to look like and your life of eight is all you can think about.

If you are sitting in the blender worried about being hurt, take it from me the pain is worth the gain :)  Give hugs out like water.  Tell your kids (yours and his) that you love them like crazy.  Do special things with each of them.  Remind them of how rich your life is with them in it. 

" See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."   ~Isaiah 43:19

Amen and Amen :)  Thank you God!!!