I have always wanted to be a mom. From the time I was a little girl I always loved kids, loved babysitting, and loved holding little ones in my arms. There was never a doubt in my mind that I would be a mother someday.
There have been many challenges along the way and if you know my story you know that there has been brokenness along the way. The one thing that got me through some very tough days, besides God, was my kids. I could never put into words the emotions I felt the first time I held my babies for the first time. I will also never forget the day I said "I do" to Brian and looked four little boys in the eyes and promised to love them forever as I welcomed them into my heart and life.
Motherhood is full of ups and downs. Wondering if you are doing things right. Asking yourself if you were too hard on them, too easy on them, loving enough, kind enough, stern enough, etc... Will they be strong enough to stand up under peer pressure, loving enough to ask a loner to join in at the playground, and confident enough to love the person God created them to be. My job is to nurture, correct, love, and point in the right direction. I often times want to protect them for the world instead of prepare them for it. God has shown me that this will not raise confident kids but dependent ones. Oh the letting go . . . .
On this Mother's Day I wanted to write and tell my kids how much I love them, what I hope for their future, and how blessed I feel to be their mom.
To my six kids,
I hope you know how much I love you. You fill my heart to overflowing with your amazing smiles, sweet laughter, and unique personalities. I treasure up each memory we have made together. Sand castles on the beach, board games at home, bike rides, road trips, school plays, choir concerts, bedtime prayers, dinner around the table, and everything in-between.
I pray that you will love others, love God, and love yourself (just the way God created you to be). I pray that you will look for the positive in all situations and learn to forgive and grant grace to those around you. I pray that you will follow the dreams God has placed on your heart. We believe in you. You can do anything you set your mind/heart to.
Remember that you can have everything and yet have nothing if you don't have love. The world will not always be fair. It will promise you things that it can't deliver on. You will have moments of brokenness, broken hearts, broken promises, and trouble that you did not count on. In those times, remember that it is in difficult times that we are tested, refined, and made new. Those are the times that draw us near to God and grow in us a sense of compassion for others, the ability to cherish the simple things in life, and ultimately map out the course of our life. Trust me, it is when things seem the darkest that God is doing His greatest work in you.
I pray that you learn to love life. Embrace it. Smile. Bless others. Forgive. Be kind when others are not. Love those that are difficult to love. Always remember that Dad and I love you and are on your side!!
Boys, I pray that you marry a woman that loves God and loves you. I pray that you will lead your family spiritually and financially. Your wife will need a strong man to lead her. Be compassionate, gentle, loving, and kind. Remember to tell her you love her every day. You won't be perfect. Learn to forgive yourself and learn to say you are sorry :) (As you get older their will be much more to talk about but for now let's leave it at that :) .
Hannah, I pray that you will learn to love God and treasure Him. I pray that you will one day meet a man that also loves the Lord and cherishes you. I hope to raise you to learn to put others before yourself. To be your husband's biggest cheerleader. I pray you will make a home that he can't wait to come home to. Be patient, loving, and understanding. Learn to say your are sorry and allow him to be imperfect (bc only God is perfect). Just like the boys I will have more to say as you get older but this will do for now.
I thank God for you my little ones (although Logan just measured a tad taller than me!!!) I hope to walk this life out with you. I look forward to all the fun we will have in the future. I am one blessed mom to have you in my life. I love you to the moon and back!!!
Love, Mom :) XOXOXOXOXO
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