Friday, September 9, 2011

Blended



For some reason the term "blended family" came to my mind this morning.  I started thinking about what the term "blended" means.  The definition of blended is this:  To combine or mix so that the constituent parts are indistinguishable from one another.  Hmmm, very interesting and very cool. 

As I look around and see families that are supposed to be "blended" I realized that I see more families that are sitting in the blender with all of their separate ingredients than ones that are truly blended.  Maybe they are afraid that being "blended" will hurt.  It would mean giving up some of your own identity.  It would mean accepting all the other ingredients.  You can't blend some parts and leave others out.  It's all or nothing. 

Seems funny but I started to imagine putting all sorts of fruit in a blender along with lots of ice.  Each ingredient is visible and separate before you blend it.  Each ingredient is good on its own but it's so much better when you blend them together to make a smoothie :)  I then thought about the sound the blender makes when it crushes the ice and blends the fruit.  It makes a loud sound as it crushes everything.  The parts are being crushed and smoothed out.  In the end you have a delicious drink and you can't tell which part is a strawberry or which part is a blueberry.  They are one.

A blended family should be this way.  You all come into it with different life stories.  You bring your hurts, your passions, your joys, your everything :) with you.  At first it is obvious which kids are are yours and which ones are his.  In the beginning you realize that you have one set of rules and he has another.  You may realize that your kids sleep with blankies, prefer the light on, and want to sleep in the same bed as their parent (Ha ha - I am sure you could guess who's kids these were) while his kids sleep without blankies, don't want the lights on, and love to have the door shut :)  At first it was hard to be affectionate with someone else's kids.  I loved them but I hadn't raised them.  In the beginning we were all separate parts to one equation. 

In time we started to blend.  The actual blending process can hurt a bit (think about the blender).  It looks messy at times and it can even be painful.  You may even feel crushed at times.  When it's over you realize you have become something beautiful.  One day you realize that no one can tell which kids are yours or which kids are his.  People start to tell you that your son looks like you (and you grin on the inside) or that your daughter looks just like her daddy (He grins from ear to ear on the outside and inside- lol).  Pretty soon you turn the lights out and realize that all the kids are sleeping without blankies, with the lights out and doors shut :)  Kids are in their own beds and they like it (and so do you).

A few months after that you realize that you are giving out hugs like water and that you are starting to love all the kids the same.  You get offended when people ask which kids are yours and which ones are his.  There are no his and hers.  They are "ours".

One day you smile inside because people start seeing you as a family of eight and they have no idea that you haven't always been this way.  All they see is a "blended" family.  They don't see the differences.  They see one unit.  The parts look the same.  You remember what it took to get here and you realize it was all worth it.  You start to forget what your life of three used to look like and your life of eight is all you can think about.

If you are sitting in the blender worried about being hurt, take it from me the pain is worth the gain :)  Give hugs out like water.  Tell your kids (yours and his) that you love them like crazy.  Do special things with each of them.  Remind them of how rich your life is with them in it. 

" See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."   ~Isaiah 43:19

Amen and Amen :)  Thank you God!!!

1 comment:

  1. I love your blog. It always makes me cry. You are an amazing woman!

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