Thankfulness - A matter of the heart

I am so thankful for this life I have been given.  As I look back on my life thus far I am reminded of how God's hand has been in my story all along.  My mom had me at age 17.  She could have chosen to give me up or to abort me.  She chose to keep me.  We didn't have much but I had the most amazing mom a girl could ever ask for.  She has always been a hard worker.  We had our own apartment and she worked two jobs to make sure I was cared for and that my needs were met.  I look back with fond memories of that brief time in my life that it was just her and I. 
My mom met and married a wonderful man when I was only six years old.  This man became an amazing father to me.  We had our moments, don't get me wrong, but I loved him and he loved me back.  I was blessed to have three siblings born out of this marriage.  They are my best friends to this day.  I lost contact with my biological dad for a period of years but we reconnected when I was in high school.  He is a wonderful person and I am thankful for the person he has become.  My life wasn't always rainbows and roses but I am so thankful for the life I have been privileged to live. 
I became a Christian at age 23.  My whole life changed.  I started to see things and situations and people through different lenses, Gods lenses.  My life wasn't about me anymore.  It started to revolve around others.  I met and married a wonderful man.  Our marriage was good at times and it was extremely hard at others.  Things happened that weren't easy but I can look back and thank God for those times.  It was in those times that God got ahold of me.  He grew in me a heart of love and compassion for all people.  He held me and loved me when the world seemed to be falling apart.  He showed me how to love those that aren't easy to love.
I also learned a lot about myself and the broken parts that God wanted to mend.  I was challenged by God to look at myself and see where I wasn't living rightly for Him.  I can't even begin to tell you what God did in my heart and the ways that he grew me during those times.  I wouldn't trade it, I can tell you that for sure.  It's easy to look back and see how people have hurt us or how life hasn't seemed fair in some ways.  It's not so easy to look at yourself and examine how you have possibly hurt someone or how you haven't acted as a friend in some way.  I am thankful that God loves us in our imperfections and that He has encouraged me to do the same for those in my life.
 My marriage ended in divorce which I never would have imagined.  I know that was not God's plan.  I am thankful though for the years Kenneth and I had together and for the kids we share.  I am not bitter or angry over the past.  Kenneth will always be a friend to me.  I am thankful for the time I had with my kids and with God while we worked through this new phase of life.  I am thankful for all the people that stood by me, loved me, lifted me up, held me together, and prayed for me.
  As my heart became fully God's He blessed me with a new relationship and friendship in Brian.  I am thankful that God brought me an amazing man to share this next chapter of life with.  He is a wonderful dad and the best friend a girl could ask for.  Our life is rich and full.  This isn't because of anything we have done to deserve it.  It is God's mercy in our life.  Life is what you make it.  You can be thankful for the good times and the bad in your life or you can look at life and dwell on the negative.  This only leads to heartache and depression.  When we see things through God's lens we can be thankful for our story whatever it looks like.
 I am thankful that I have an amazing family.  Yes it looks crazy on paper (A dad in California with a wife and two siblings that are the same age as my kiddos, a dad here that raised me along with three siblings that are my best friends.  My mom and dad divorced and my dad remarried two years ago and now I have Pam and her two sons in my life and I love them.  My mom is dating Kevin and has been for about 7 years and he has become part of the family.  I divorced and remarried in the same year.  I now have six kids and a new husband.  Kenneth is dating a great girl named Angela and we all work to raise our kids together. 
It all looks crazy on paper but its a beautiful kind of crazy.  It's about brokenness and healing.  Love and thankfulness.  Beauty from ashes.  Gladness from mourning.  Thankfulness in the midst of a storm.  It's about forgiveness and forging ahead.  Thank you God for your love and faithfulness.  Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!  Thank you to my friends and family.  I am thankful for all of you!!!  I love you soooo much.  I could go on and on about all that I am thankful for.  I think I could write page upon page.  In the end I just want everyone to know that my heart overflows with Thanksgiving for this beautiful broken life that I have been privileged to live out.  I love you!!