Our First Christmas :)

Last year on Christmas Eve I looked up at the mantel and stared at the three stockings hung on the chimney with care.  I remember feeling sad that there was one less stocking there.  It had been a tough year on all of us.  I thanked God for my two precious children sleeping in their beds.  I prayed that this year would be a new start and a time of refreshing for all of us.
 
This year on Christmas Eve I again looked up at the mantel and was filled with joy as I stared at eight stockings crammed on the chimney with care :)  I reflected on all that God had done in our lives in a year's time and how He had grown our family from three to eight.  I couldn't be happier.  I cried as I reflected on God's amazing love for me, Brian, and our kids.

Christmas morning was filled with noise, laughter, flying wrapping paper, and lots of love!!  We told the kids they could come out at 8am so at 7:59 we heard them counting down.  30,29,28,27,26......3,2,1 and then screams of delight as they ran from their bedrooms to the living room.  My entire family came over to help us celebrate our first Christmas together.
 
My dad and Pam got the kids games, clothes, and other goodies.  My mom got the kids colts gear, books, and stuffed animals.  My siblings went together to buy the kids tons of games (aqua doodle, break the ice, moon sand, pixie sticks, etc...).  My parents also got us a family membership to the aquatic center.  We had to get two memberships for a family of eight!!  We are already getting tons of use out it.  The kids love it!!!  We got all the kids a pillow pet, a game, and other fun stuff.  It was a great Christmas.
Brian got me a brand new camera (total surprise) and a new printer for labeling cd's and dvd's.  I was more than excited as I have been wanting a new camera for some time now.  I bought him shoes, a fun hat, clothes, and other fun surprises.

It was great to see my little nephew, Elias, and let the kids get to know their cousin.  They live in D.C. so we don't get to see them very much.  Elias loved his new Uncle "B". 
Hudson was the first to notice that Santa had eaten his cookies and milk :)  Of course Santa left half a glass of milk on the mantel that ended up on the floor later in the morning - lol.  Christmas is still a magical time in their eyes.

We talked about Jesus, read the story of His birth, and prayed for all the kids in the world that wouldn't experience the kind of Christmas we would.  This will be a Christmas I will never forget. 

God of second chances (by Brian)

He is the God of second chances; of redemption.  He is faithful.  “I once was lost but now I’m found and now my lifesong sings.  I once was blind but now I see and now my lifesong sings.  I once was dead but now I live.  Now my life to you I give. Hallelujah!”  Song lyrics by Casting Crowns

We are lost without Him. If we only give God the opportunity, with our lives...everything, He is all that He claims to be.  Loree has made such a wonderful account of our God story.  Even then, we only scratch the surface on just how good God is and all of His mysterious ways.  

Over a year ago a new thought unexpectedly overtook my heart.  A desire growing in me to have two more kids.  I was a single dad with four boys...why on earth would I have such a notion burning in me?  I shared this feeling will many (who thought I had lost my mind!!!) then tucked it away in my heart and thought of it no more.  

A couple months before the wedding the thought resurfaced in my mind as if God wanted to remind me who had been at work in our hearts from the beginning...preparing the way.  I would soon be blessed with two beautiful children to love as my own.  

“A page is turned in this life, He’s making her his wife and there is no secret to the source of this much life.  When the grace that falls like rain is washing them again. Just a chance to somehow rise above this land.

Where the God of second chance will pick them up and he’ll let them dance.  Through a world that is not kind and all this time, they’re sharing with the one that holds them up when they come undone.  Beneath the storm, beneath the sun and once again, here you stand.  Your day has come.” A Page is Turned by Bebo Norman

It's what He does isn't it?  Holds us up when we fall apart.  Picks us up and sets us on our feet.  Then we dance.  Grace, God's grace.

I would not ever be able to fully describe just how miraculously God worked through our lives to bring us to where we are today.  Some things I will just cherish in my heart. His grace...is sooooo good.  I don’t feel like I deserve second chances, but He gives them anyway. 

He was down right showing off by bringing Loree to me.  (He’s God after all and that’s just fine with me!)  She is beyond an exceptional woman.  Her character in Christ makes it easier for me to be the husband and leader God calls me to be.  She has such a fun easygoing heart with the same love of dancing as myself which includes dance movies :)  (Step Up 3 was pretty rockin’ for us!)

I don’t know your story.  I’m sure it has/had its own set of difficulties and heartache, but there is one thing we have in common.  Our God, our Redeemer, our Healer, our Comforter, our God of second chances.  “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7  

Let go and let God.

Jesus is very fond of you and so am I,

Brian

Our wedding day - My heart was pounding with excitement!!

We got married on October 16th at 4:30pm.  I spent the night at my mom's house with my two sisters.  We woke up the next morning and my mom treated us to manicures and pedicures at a little place here in Avon.

The weather was gorgeous!!  Sunny, warm and beautiful, and autumn leaves everywhere.  I couldn't believe the day was finally here.  I was so excited to marry my best friend.

My sister-in-law was kind enough to come to my mom's house to do all of our hair (she did an awesome job!!!).  She will be doing our hair again for my sister, Anna's wedding this March :) 

Brian and I had to be at the barn early for photos.  My mom and sister's helped me get ready and our photographer came to take pictures.  I then rode to the barn with our photographer and hid behind the barn so that Brian couldn't see me until just the right time :)  He met me behind the barn and that is when we saw each other for the first time that day.  He looked so handsome.  We had fun taking pictures before the wedding. 

The funniest thing that happened that day took place right before our wedding was to start.  The field behind the barn was being plowed!!!  We looked over to see a huge combine heading for the field which was very loud and all you could see was corn flying everywhere - lol.  We found the driver and asked if they could wait until after the wedding to plow the rest.  He happily agreed.  We had to get a picture on the combine after the wedding :)

Brian stayed at my house the night before the wedding along with his family and all of the kids.  His family had a big job getting six kids showered and ready for the wedding!!  They were a huge blessing.  The kids looked great and they were so excited that the wedding day was finally here.  They were so excited to be a family, to be brothers and sisters, and to live together under one roof.  We spent time as a family before the ceremony started.  We got pictures being silly, playing in the leaves, and walking to the barn hand in hand.

The ceremony was beautiful.  The barn looked amazing.  Our friends and family were all gathered in one room to celebrate this awesome blessing in our lives.  It was an overwhelming feeling of gratitude and love.  The kids memorized Corinthians 13 and recited it during the wedding.  I was so proud of them.  Brian played a song for me on the piano and sang to me.  He had kept this a secret.  I had to fight back the tears.  The song was perfect "When I say I do" by Matthew West.  At the end of the ceremony the worship team played a few songs and everyone stood up and sang along.  It was beautiful.  Gabe, our eight year old, had his eyes closed and hands lifted as he sang to God and thanked Him for restoring our families.  Every one of the kids sang their hearts out.  I can't begin to tell you how that made my heart feel.  I had a flood of thoughts and emotions come over me.  I was thanking God for bringing this amazing man of faith into my life, praising him for giving me a family again, and thinking of these beautiful kids that I would now have the privilege to raise.  My heart could have leaped out of my chest with excitement.

The rest of the night we were blessed to dance, sing, take communion, and share a meal with our closest friends and family.  It was perfect in every way.  Our first dance was to "A page is turned" by Bebo Norman.  The kids played hard and danced even harder :)  MeMe said they crashed hard that night - lol.  At the end of the evening we kissed each of our kiddos goodbye and thanked our families for all of their hard work to make this day a success.  We then headed downtown for our first night as husband and wife.  There will be no details on that one "wink".  It all felt like a dream.  An answered prayer.  God is so good!!!  Our love story will continue with our amazing honeymoon in Cabo San Lucas.

Our first Thanksgiving :)

I know I am a bit behind on my posts.  So much has happened in such a short time that it's hard to keep up.  These are photos from our first Thanksgiving together.  We had lunch at my cousin, Jeanie's house and then headed over to my mom's house for dinner.  Thanksgiving is usually pretty low key for my family.  It involves eating lots of food, lounging, looking at adds, and plotting our shopping trip for the next day.

My cousins came in from North Carolina with their two kiddos so it was nice to catch up with them and have an opportunity to beat the men in euchre - lol.  My brother left for California the next day for a three month nursing job in Laguna Beach so it was good to spend time with him before he left as well.  We had dinner at my mom's and the kids played board games all night.  They actually played an entire game of monopoly (which is one of my favorite games!!).

 The next morning I woke up at 4am to go shopping with my mom and sister.  We always have so much fun amongst all the chaos.  I got all of my shopping done in one day.  I even bought my bridesmaid dress for my sister's wedding :)


Thanksgiving was extra special this year.  I have six healthy kids, one amazing husband, a wonderful family, and a group of friends that are awesome!!!  God has done great things for us and we are filled with joy :)  I am thankful for His beautiful story of redemption in our lives. 

Our wedding | Part six of our love story :)

I know we had a short engagement but to be honest it felt like the wedding wouldn't come soon enough!!  I was so in love with Brian and every day I got more and more excited about sharing my life with him.  I wanted to spend every minute with him.  My whole world lights up when he is around.  When I talk about him I just glow :)

Our entire wedding was a labor of love put together by friends and family that love us dearly.  I always thought it would be neat to get married outdoors. The idea of getting married in an old rustic barn had crossed my mind as we started talking about getting married in the Fall.  Our friend, Leslie, out of the blue mentioned that it would be cool if we could get married in her in-laws barn in Avon.  As soon as she mentioned it we knew we wanted to have our wedding there.  The Dragons, the owners of the barn and property, were thrilled to let us use their barn at no cost (praise number one).

We found out along the way that another couple was going to get married in the same barn two weeks before us.  They ended up cleaning out the entire barn (pressure washed the floors, prepared it fully, and decorated the barn beautifully (praise number two).  They contacted us to let us know that we could use any of their decorations that we wanted for our wedding (praise three).  We were able to use all of their decorations which saved us a ton of money!!

Our friends and family were so excited for us and for God's story of redemption in our lives.  Everyone wanted to help out.  We started receiving emails, letter, facebook messages, etc.. from friends, family, and even people we barely knew.  These were an amazing encouragement to us.  The letters were filled with words of love written out of hearts that had been praying for us for a long time.  Our marriage was an answer to many prayers lifted up on our behalf.  It brings me tears just thinking about it.
 
We wanted to have a dinner at our wedding so a friend suggested a pitch-in dinner.  We thought about it and decided it was a great idea.  Everyone was volunteering to help and they all wanted to be a part of our special day so we asked everyone to bring a dish to share instead of a gift.  It was the most beautiful dinner, made with love, that I had ever seen (praise number four).  Our parents paid for an awesome barbecue dinner with pulled chicken and pork.  Our friends brought mashed potatoes, corn casseroles, rolls, a chocolate fountain with fruit and other goodies, tons of side dishes, drinks, etc... It was perfect!!! 
Brian had a friend that volunteered her time and talent to make our wedding cake for us, again at no cost (praise number five).  The cake was awesome!!!  We were so thankful for the time and energy it took her and her mom to make this masterpiece :)

My friend, Becky, volunteered to be our "wedding coordinator".  The day wouldn't have been the same without her.  She made our wedding sign, my bouquet, and Brian's boutonniere, she bought the chalkboard for our program, decorated the entire barn, made the kids treat sacks for the table, added special touches all over the barn ("W" coasters on the tables, sparkling cider on the kids table, crayons in cute metal "W" containers, etc...)  She put everything together and made the barn look magical!!(praise six) 
I wasn't sure how the weather would turn out the day of the wedding so I asked if anyone had heaters we could borrow.  I had a number of responses and had more heaters than we needed.(praise seven).

 Being a photographer myself, I knew that capturing this day in photos was very important to me.  I had no idea who I would hire to capture the special story of our wedding.  I had an acquaintance ask me to have lunch with her to throw some photography ideas around.  She had some questions about photography and I was thrilled to have someone to talk "shop" with.  We met for lunch and ended up talking about God the entire time.  I had never seen her work before and this was our first time ever meeting.  She had an amazing story of God's work in her own life.  Her husband was tragically paralyzed in a lawn mower accident several years ago and their entire life changed because of it.  Our stories were different but the author of them was the same.  We have both grown and changed for the better because of the difficulties we experienced.  I knew in my spirit that I wanted her to be the one to photograph our wedding.  We talked it over and she felt that God wanted her to do my wedding as well. Our wedding would be her second wedding to photograph.  I didn't have one doubt about her being our photographer.  She did an amazing job capturing our special day and presented us with the most amazing wedding photos!!!  I LOVE them!!(Praise number eight).

There was an old chandelier in the barn that didn't work b/c the wiring had been cut.  Brian's brother was able to rewire it and have it working for the wedding.  His sister-in-law decorated the food station in the barn and helped put up lights.  My family from California (Dad and Brenda) put the wine labels on for us.  My mom bought all sorts of candles and candle holders for the tables and around the barn.  My Dad, Gary, and his wife, Pam, put candles in all of the empty candle holders.  We had tons of friends and family show up at the barn the night before the wedding to help decorate, put up tables and chairs, and get the barn ready.  My friend, Leslie, made the "Just Married" sign you see in the photos.  Our friends from Broad Ripple, Erin and Bob, made all the carmel apples for us (70 of them!!!).  The worship band from church and my b/f/f, Carol, did all the music for the wedding.  They sounded beautiful!!!  My friend, Jennifer, sells the most gorgeous jewelery for "Stella and Dot" and she gave me all the jewelry to wear for my wedding.  I could go on and on and on about the million other little things that people did to make our day special for us. (Praise nine through one hundred :) 

There are no words to describe the way our hearts felt that night about our friends and family.  We felt truly blessed!!  I think I will write another post about our wedding ceremony and the thoughts I had that day.  There is so much to write about!!  Part seven will cover our wedding day, my thoughts about becoming a mom of six, and the way my heart leaped out of my chest when our pastor announced us "husband and wife"   Stay tuned . . . . . . 

P.S. I forgot to mention that my mom and I went shopping for a wedding dress after I got engaged and I literally bought the second dress I tried on.  It was inexpensive and beautiful (PRAISE GOD)   

Part 5 of our love story - He asked me to be his wife :)

Brian started looking at rings and secretly asked my family and my best friend to get involved in picking one out.  He asked me to go with him to look at rings so he could get an idea of what I liked.  What I liked was him :)  I would have been happy with anything he picked out b/c I wasn't focused on the ring, I was focused on being his future wife.  I felt like the most blessed girl in the world.  I was crazy about this man. 

Brian asked my dad to lunch so he could ask him if he could marry me.  He then took my mom and Kevin out and asked them if he could marry me.  I laughed when Brian said he was sweating during his dinner with my mom and Kevin and was worried he might not make the cut - ha ha.  My family had seen me go through pain in the past and they were prepared with a long list of questions for Brian to make sure he was the real deal.  It didn't take long for them to see that he was an amazing guy and that He was crazy about their daughter and planned to take very good care of her :)  Funny side note . . . .My sister's boyfriend asked my dad the next day if he could marry Anna.  Neither of them (Brian nor Jerry) were aware that the other had asked my dad in the same week. 

Jerry proposed to Anna the day after he met with my dad.  Brian had planned to ask me the following week.  So the funny part is at church that Sunday Ben, our pastor, asked if anyone had any praises or prayer requests.  My dad stood right up and said "I am excited to announce that two of my daughters got engaged this weekend".  I stood up next to my dad and whispered "Dad I did not get engaged this weekend".  I thought he had lost his mind - ha ha.  The entire church was staring at us and I was two shades of red.  I clarified "I did not get engaged"  Our worship pastor, Mandy, said "Ok, congrats to Anna and Jerry but not to Loree and Brian"  It was so funny.  My dad evidently thought that since Brian had asked him if he could marry me that he was going to ask the very next day.  He says he will never live that one down as long as he lives - ha ha !!

Ok back to the story . . .  So he bought me a ring (the most beautiful ring I have ever seen!!).  I had no idea that he had purchased a ring.  I thought he was still in the looking stage.  He planned his proposal out and had planned on asking me to marry him at the "Rooftop Garden" at fountain square.  It was already closed for the season but he was pulling strings to make it happen.  This is where it gets funny . . . I knew we had plans to eat downtown and I had some good friends that had never met Brian so I thought it would be nice to invite them along :)  About an hour before we were to leave I told him that I invited them along and that we had picked a restaurant out called "The Villa" downtown.  He seemed a little flustered about it so I told him I could call them and cancel.  He didn't want to be obvious so he just went with it and we had a wonderful dinner with friends and he held off on his proposal - lol. 

The next morning we went to church and when we came in we noticed that my family was there (My mom, Kevin, My dad, Pam, Anna, and Jerry).  It was the first time that they had all been there at the same time.  We all sat together and then in the middle of service Brian whispered to me that he would be back in a minute.  He left and didn't come back for 10 or 15 minutes.  I started to get worried about him and then I noticed his truck pulling into the church parking lot (I could see the front doors from my seat).  His truck was for sale at the time and I remember thinking "Did he just leave church to go show someone his truck?".  This would have been totally out of character for him so I was totally confused.  He came back in and sat down by me.  He mumbled something like "I will tell you later". 

Towards the end of service Ben asked if anyone had anything else to share etc...Brian stood up and said "I have a testimony to share with everyone"  He grabbed my hand and asked me to come up front with him.  I was still clueless.  He started telling everyone what God had done in our lives and what He was continuing to do in our hearts and lives daily.  Then he started talking about me and how much he loved me . . .the rest is a bit of a blur.  He was talking about all the things he loved about me and about how he wanted to romance me for the rest of his life .   At that point I looked down and noticed something in his pocket (A ring box).

 My heart started to pound b/c it was at that point that I realized he was about to ask me to marry him.  I looked over at my family and my mom was crying (clue number two).  He got down on one knee in front of our family and friends and said "Can I have you forever?".  He stole the quote from his two year old son.  Leo had said to Brian a few weeks earlier "Daddy can I have you?"  We thought it was the cutest thing ever.  I said yes (of course) and that was the start of our engagement. 

Brian had no plans of asking me to marry him at church that day.  He said that when he walked into church and noticed that my family was there and many of our friends that he felt in his heart that this was the right day and time.  He left the church to go get my ring :)  He told my sister Anna that he was thinking about asking me at the end of church and she highly encouraged it - lol.  It was perfect.  I was only four weeks away from becoming Mrs.Wheeler.  Stay tuned for part 6 - The most beautiful day ever - Our wedding :)

P.S.  If I had known he was going to propose that day I wouldn't have dressed like Pocahontas :)

Thankfulness - A matter of the heart

I am so thankful for this life I have been given.  As I look back on my life thus far I am reminded of how God's hand has been in my story all along.  My mom had me at age 17.  She could have chosen to give me up or to abort me.  She chose to keep me.  We didn't have much but I had the most amazing mom a girl could ever ask for.  She has always been a hard worker.  We had our own apartment and she worked two jobs to make sure I was cared for and that my needs were met.  I look back with fond memories of that brief time in my life that it was just her and I. 
My mom met and married a wonderful man when I was only six years old.  This man became an amazing father to me.  We had our moments, don't get me wrong, but I loved him and he loved me back.  I was blessed to have three siblings born out of this marriage.  They are my best friends to this day.  I lost contact with my biological dad for a period of years but we reconnected when I was in high school.  He is a wonderful person and I am thankful for the person he has become.  My life wasn't always rainbows and roses but I am so thankful for the life I have been privileged to live. 
I became a Christian at age 23.  My whole life changed.  I started to see things and situations and people through different lenses, Gods lenses.  My life wasn't about me anymore.  It started to revolve around others.  I met and married a wonderful man.  Our marriage was good at times and it was extremely hard at others.  Things happened that weren't easy but I can look back and thank God for those times.  It was in those times that God got ahold of me.  He grew in me a heart of love and compassion for all people.  He held me and loved me when the world seemed to be falling apart.  He showed me how to love those that aren't easy to love.
I also learned a lot about myself and the broken parts that God wanted to mend.  I was challenged by God to look at myself and see where I wasn't living rightly for Him.  I can't even begin to tell you what God did in my heart and the ways that he grew me during those times.  I wouldn't trade it, I can tell you that for sure.  It's easy to look back and see how people have hurt us or how life hasn't seemed fair in some ways.  It's not so easy to look at yourself and examine how you have possibly hurt someone or how you haven't acted as a friend in some way.  I am thankful that God loves us in our imperfections and that He has encouraged me to do the same for those in my life.
 My marriage ended in divorce which I never would have imagined.  I know that was not God's plan.  I am thankful though for the years Kenneth and I had together and for the kids we share.  I am not bitter or angry over the past.  Kenneth will always be a friend to me.  I am thankful for the time I had with my kids and with God while we worked through this new phase of life.  I am thankful for all the people that stood by me, loved me, lifted me up, held me together, and prayed for me.
  As my heart became fully God's He blessed me with a new relationship and friendship in Brian.  I am thankful that God brought me an amazing man to share this next chapter of life with.  He is a wonderful dad and the best friend a girl could ask for.  Our life is rich and full.  This isn't because of anything we have done to deserve it.  It is God's mercy in our life.  Life is what you make it.  You can be thankful for the good times and the bad in your life or you can look at life and dwell on the negative.  This only leads to heartache and depression.  When we see things through God's lens we can be thankful for our story whatever it looks like.
 I am thankful that I have an amazing family.  Yes it looks crazy on paper (A dad in California with a wife and two siblings that are the same age as my kiddos, a dad here that raised me along with three siblings that are my best friends.  My mom and dad divorced and my dad remarried two years ago and now I have Pam and her two sons in my life and I love them.  My mom is dating Kevin and has been for about 7 years and he has become part of the family.  I divorced and remarried in the same year.  I now have six kids and a new husband.  Kenneth is dating a great girl named Angela and we all work to raise our kids together. 
It all looks crazy on paper but its a beautiful kind of crazy.  It's about brokenness and healing.  Love and thankfulness.  Beauty from ashes.  Gladness from mourning.  Thankfulness in the midst of a storm.  It's about forgiveness and forging ahead.  Thank you God for your love and faithfulness.  Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!  Thank you to my friends and family.  I am thankful for all of you!!!  I love you soooo much.  I could go on and on about all that I am thankful for.  I think I could write page upon page.  In the end I just want everyone to know that my heart overflows with Thanksgiving for this beautiful broken life that I have been privileged to live out.  I love you!!